Save the World for just $99.95

What a wonderful world we live in, the sun is shining, thebirds are chirping and EVERYONE IS GOING TO DIE!!! God I love environmentalists. Their happy warm thoughts and views about how we’re all going to fry to a crisp, if we don’t drown first. And to that end we have Live Earth, brought to you by the King of all that is warm and glowy, Al “Dude, where’s my Presidency?” Gore. Yes you to can join the growing movement of people willing to pay for their cause. That’s right, pay. Just take a look at the site. You can buy a T-Shirt for the ever so cheap price of $50AUD. Fifty dollars. For a T-Shirt. It doesn’t make you coffee, or tell you nice things about yourself, you just wear it for a few weeks then use it to wipe bird crap off your SUV. Of course Live Earth is really part of a legitimate ground swell in popular opinion. That opinion is that we have been pumping CO2 into the atmosphere at an unprecedented rate, like nothing that has ever happened before in this planet’s history (please ignore any and all volcanic eruptions thank you) and now we are going to pay for it. And pay for it we shall with the new economy of carbon trading. Basically that allows people to start up industries that sell us… nothing. And for that privilege we will now pay through the nose for those things that rely on non-renewable resources like coal and oil. Now I don’t know if anyone ever told these idiots but most of the world’s production of anything relies on fossil fuels, so when the price for these goes up, everything goes up. It’s not just a few extra dollars for your electricity or a couple extra cents per litre for your petrol, this will bump up the price of EVERYTHING. Your bacon and eggs are going to go up, your fruit and vegetables are going to go up, your clothing, your mobile phone, your public transport, even your dope is going to go up. Now this is all well and good for Al and these wonderful artists that performed at Live Earth, they can afford to pay extra for the little things in life (like private jets and six-packs of mansions) but for the rest of us poor folk, we are going to cop it in the neck. So you may want to think about how much it’s really going to cost to feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Meanwhile I’m going to put up my feet and watch the tractor pull on my Big Screen...

Read More