Of course I am talking about that race of people that no one likes. They’re filthy, disgusting throwbacks to a bygone era. The sooner they’re eradicated from the face of the earth the better it will be for all of us right thinking folk. No it’s not the rebirth of Eugenics, it’s the new found sport of smoker bashing. That’s right, it’s fun for all the family. Come one, come all and join in the bigotry that we can all partake in (well mostly all) because we’re the majority and they’re a minority. Plus, they smell. Smokers, the great unwashed masses that are easy to spot, they’re the ones huddled together outside their place of work, trying vainly to warm themselves over the smouldering embers of their chosen vice. Come rain or shine, if they want a smoke they are OUTTA HERE! Here in sunny Queensland, the only Australian state worth mentioning these days, our lovely Premier Peter Beattie took it upon himself to ordain the legalisation of minority bashing by making it a criminal offence to smoke. Yes, you can be arrested for smoking. Sharon stone would be rolling over in her botox grave. Well okay, you can’t really get arrested, well at least not straight away. If you don’t pay the hefty fines they throw at you for lighting up within 4 metres of a doorway, or in a wide open area like a beach, then they can do whatever the court says they can do to you, and that includes locking you up and throwing away the key. Ironically once inside prison then you can smoke with impunity, as well as take drugs and other… things. But public clubs and bars are the best. They are allowed to have smoking sections, but they must be outside and way from everyone else, plus they have to be in special sealed off areas. These areas are typically small, I mean what establishment wants to spend a fortune one what is basically a minority client? So you get a pile of people crowded into a small smoke filled area. If you didn’t have lung cancer before you went in there you will most likely have it by the time you leave. I wonder how many law suits will ensue from enforcing lung cancer on smokers. Not that it matters really. They’re a small minority and getting smaller by the minute. Dying off or converting to the majority, these smokers really are a dying breed. Pass the Winnies Dear, I’m starting to feel...

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