content top

Save the World for just $99.95

Save the World for just $99.95

What a wonderful world we live in, the sun is shining, thebirds are chirping and EVERYONE IS GOING TO DIE!!! God I love environmentalists. Their happy warm thoughts and views about how we’re all going to fry to a crisp, if we don’t drown first. And to that end we have Live Earth, brought to you by the King of all that is warm and glowy, Al “Dude, where’s my Presidency?” Gore. Yes you to can join the growing movement of people willing to pay for their cause. That’s right, pay. Just take a look at the site. You can buy a T-Shirt for the ever so cheap price of $50AUD. Fifty dollars. For a T-Shirt. It doesn’t make you coffee, or tell you nice things about yourself, you just wear it for a few weeks then use it to wipe bird crap off your SUV. Of course Live Earth is really part of a legitimate ground swell in popular opinion. That opinion is that we have been pumping CO2 into the atmosphere at an unprecedented rate, like nothing that has ever happened before in this planet’s history (please ignore any and all volcanic eruptions thank you) and now we are going to pay for it. And pay for it we shall with the new economy of carbon trading. Basically that allows people to start up industries that sell us… nothing. And for that privilege we will now pay through the nose for those things that rely on non-renewable resources like coal and oil. Now I don’t know if anyone ever told these idiots but most of the world’s production of anything relies on fossil fuels, so when the price for these goes up, everything goes up. It’s not just a few extra dollars for your electricity or a couple extra cents per litre for your petrol, this will bump up the price of EVERYTHING. Your bacon and eggs are going to go up, your fruit and vegetables are going to go up, your clothing, your mobile phone, your public transport, even your dope is going to go up. Now this is all well and good for Al and these wonderful artists that performed at Live Earth, they can afford to pay extra for the little things in life (like private jets and six-packs of mansions) but for the rest of us poor folk, we are going to cop it in the neck. So you may want to think about how much it’s really going to cost to feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Meanwhile I’m going to put up my feet and watch the tractor pull on my Big Screen...

Read More

I have a guitar and I must whinge.

The better half and I (yes, I have a better half. I know that’s hard to believe considering how good the original half is but there you go) decided to go to the local Karaoke bar last Friday night. Now for us this is what’s classified as a good night out. A few drinks, some good music plus some not so good music and some god awful music thrown in to make you appreciate how good the other stuff really is. While we were relaxing in the “Cancer Clinic” (which is what they call the spacious 2×2 foot cubicle the pub sets aside for those who wish to have a fag, but that’s a different rant) we realised that a great deal of todays music has become what we classify as “Tanty Rock”. Tanty Rock, for those that are wondering, is basically that classical form of rock music where the artist vents his or her spleen about shite that makes their life miserable. This can range from when their Dad did stuff to make them miserable children to when the Dole office cut off their supply of goverment funded cheese, or whatever. Basically it’s three and a half minutes of whinge, whinge, whine, insert guitar solo, then whinge some more. Whatever happened to positive upliftng music? What about “Shiny Shiny”? I had no idea what the hell they were talking about but at least it sounded happy. The Divinyl’s “Touch Myself” was, at least for her, pretty uplifting. AC/DC’s “JailBreak” was good uplifting, exercise based rock music. Okay, the ending wasn’t great but hey, he made it out and that’s the important thing here. My point is you can make good rock music without whinging about how screwed up your life is. So all you young people with musical instruments get out there and writes some good old fashioned Rock ‘N’ Roll. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to put on some Hank...

Read More

Scalp em white boy

Run for the hills, the scalpers are coming. Scalping threatens Big Day Out. Apparently The Big Day Out is in danger of being canceled because there are people out there that are buying tickets and then reselling them to other people. That’s right, people are paying for a commodity. It’s capitalism gone mad folks. I knew this whole supply and demand thing would be the death of us all and now here’s the proof. The deal is people are stocking up on tickets for big events then reselling them online using sites such as eBay, usually for a decent profit. The organisers are of course outraged. The thing I don’t really understand is why they’re so upset. Let’s face it, the tickets had to be purchased before they could be resold. That means the organisers of the concert / cricket match / useless waste of public space have already made the money they intended to make. The scalpers are selling their tickets which means there is a market for them and people are willing to pay the price that the market demands. The end user does have the right to not pay and therefore not attend the event of their choosing but they do pay and they do attend. Of course the organisers could ban any tickets they found were resold but who does that really hurt? The scalper already has their money, it’s the poor slob that’s willing to pay extra for their ticket that cops it in the neck. That’s hardly looking after the viewing public now is it? So now the event organisers want the government to step in and stop these people from making the profit that properly belongs to them. I mean it’s not like they can do anything to stop it (like making the viewer present the credit card or id used to purchase the ticket on attendance) so it’s definitively a job for the government. But until then the scalpers will continue to make money while the event organisers whinge about all that money that’s so rightfully theirs. Now if you will excuse me I’m off to buy a heap of Burt Bacharach tickets. I here they’ll make a mint on...

Read More

Aussie Newlyweds?

I nearly choked on my Coco Pops when I read this story this morning. www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,10221,20920568-10388,00.html Australian Idol’s answer to Jabba the Hutt wants to do a Jessica Simpson and televise the horror show that is his pre-wedded life. Kyle, whose claim to fame is making little girls cry on national TV, is currently trying to sell the idea to Channel 10. Hopefully the execs at Ten will come to their senses and axe it faster than Yasmin’s hopes for wedded bliss. Of course I could be wrong, I never thought Big Brother would last more than six months so maybe Australia needs it’s own version of white trash with...

Read More
content top